“Knowing the impact that the familiar past has on you will actually provide freedom.”
A moment of celebration. I received a sizable deposit check after closing a nice-sized deal with a client. That moment of celebration ended very quickly when I realized that the client’s deposit would not cover my cost to supply the furniture and furnishings to satisfy the design that I created.
Essentially, I was going to have to outlay tens of thousands of dollars to cover my costs. I would have to wait about ten weeks until delivery to receive the final payment from the client to cover my costs and the nominal profit that I attached to the deal.
Now, the joy of closing my first really large deal became a burden to my business and my cash flow.
This experience was eye opening. I learned a lot about my money mindset and my shortcomings about adhering to a pricing strategy, and this learning revealed a childhood condition and its impact on my ability to relate to my value and the value that I place on money.
I was raised in a government housing project in Pittsburgh, PA, and when I was an infant, my mom and I were homeless. I learned over time that these conditions have caused me to relate to scarcity in a particular way. In fact, scarcity is familiar to me. Abundance, on the other hand, is unfamiliar. Money is among the things that I think are scarce. I don’t have a comfort level for, nor do I have an ability to see in real terms, knowing that I can have all of the money, riches and wealth that I desire. Money, riches, and wealth are there as a dream and desire, but tangibly, they are not there…not for me. I would give it away before I would live with my wealth.
I have heard stories many times about people who were without much money (we label them in this country as “poor”) and what happens when they acquire money. When they have lots of money either by earning it legitimately, or winning it through a lottery, or inheriting it through some circumstance, it is not uncommon that they mishandle the money and often lose it all.
Just as many of the wealthy have an instinctual ability to accumulate money and amass wealth, it is so true that those who relate to themselves as “poor” can have an instinctual, familiar relationship with not accumulating money.
For me, if I allow it, my past would continue to have a stronghold on my ability to amass wealth. For you, it may be that your past has a stronghold on your ability to take a risk in your business, or on your willingness to pursue your passion, or on your ability to trust others, or any number of things. Knowing the impact that the familiar past has on you will actually provide freedom. The knowing allows an opportunity for choice. The choice to allow the stronghold to have its power or to own your power over the stronghold, but simply having the ability to choose to release the stronghold will provide freedom. Freedom from the stronghold of the familiar past is a conscious and deliberate action.
For me, the conscious and deliberate action gives me freedom every morning, and it starts with a choice. Every day that I wake up, I make a choice. Do I listen to the voice in my head that reminds me that I am a girl from the projects or do I take a step forward in creating a future that seems like nothing more than a dream? Do I entertain that thing that would keep me small and “poor” or do I remind myself of my ability to conquer anything and earn lots? Do I allow my past circumstances to define me or do I remind myself that I create my own worth and value?
Your freedom is not unlike mine – it starts with a choice.